Wednesday, August 6, 2008

When all else fails, just use cloth

So I've been stuck in the same scene in The Whale and the Tree since Saturday. This is not good, as I'm really really hoping to have part one finished by August 15th, and I still have almost five whole chapters to rewrite. Eek.

It was a brand new scene, and I was quite excited about it initially (it all sounded quite brilliant in my head), but I couldn't seem to get my characters where they needed to be in the conversation. I wrote the beginning, I wrote the end, but I couldn't for the life of me find a middle. So I did what anybody would do in my situation. I asked Jenny for help.

She had a very sensible solution: Just use cloth.

This sounded excellent, but even then I was having trouble with the execution* of the cloth, and she had another sensible suggestion: write a Teen Girl Squad version of the scene. So I did. And it worked. And I am now unstuck. Below is the silly version, for your enlightenment, er, amusement.

*No actual cloth was harmed in the writing of this scene.

The Scene

Talia (the heroine), Caiden (she loves him), Wen (she's betrothed to him), and the Countess (her mother) are having tea.


Wen: “I think you should treat your daughter better.”

Countess: “I’m going to be your mother-in-law. I’m scary, manipulative and demanding. Watch what you say around me.”

Wen: “Sorry.”

Countess: “Speaking of weddings, do you have cloth?”

Wen: “Why yes, I do have cloth. Funny you should mention that. I certainly haven’t forgotten this long-standing tradition, but I have felt much too awkward and shy around Talia to actually present her with the cloth. See, I love her, but she loves my brother, and that doesn’t really work out for me.”

Countess: “I don’t care. Get her the cloth.”

Wen: “Okay.”

*Sends servant for cloth*

*Servant brings cloth*

*Wen gives Talia cloth*

Talia: “Um I don’t really want this.”

Countess: “Too bad. Don’t forget, you were contracted to marry him by the Empress who really would have no way of knowing if you didn’t marry him, so you’d better do it.”

Caiden: “I feel awkward.”

Talia: “I feel awkward.”

Wen: “I feel awkward.”

Countess: “I feel powerful. I like controlling people’s lives.”

Talia: “I can’t stand this awkward conversation anymore. I’m going to pretend I’m tired and gracefully excuse myself.”

Countess: “Kiss Wen.”

Talia: “Um, no.”

Countess: “Do it.”

*Talia kisses Wen*

Talia: “That was awkward.”

Wen: “That was awkward.”

Caiden: “That was awkward.”

Talia: “I’m leaving now.”

*Talia runs away, tears cascading liberally down her cheeks as her heart feels like it’s being splintered into a thousand pieces, dashed to the floor, ground into paste, forged into glass, and shattered eleven or twelve times after that*

The End

So that is that. Didn't really turn out all that Teen Girl Squad-ish, but it certainly got the job done. Props to Jenny. Rest of Chapter Eight... Prepare to die!!

More peculiar than usual tonight,

Gamwyn

4 comments:

silent_librarian said...

Hoorah for Jenny! That was such a good idea, making a condensed version of it to help you along. Rock rock on! Which is totally not Teen Girl Squad but Cheat Commandos. Hehe! I love those cartons. Anyway, I'm glad you are unstuck now.

Turtle Ink said...

I love the silly version, and I'm glad not cloth was harmed. We couldn't have that.

Gamwyn said...

Heehee thanks for the comments, guys. Glad you enjoyed. :-)

Miss Bethany said...

lol